i got jazz band soon. joany isnt gonna be there, so mandy isnt either. that sucks. guess its gonna be just colleen and i. after that i might go over to joany's and play some halo. maybe. her mom might not let me...honestly. oh, and anyone who doesnt have an iPod, you need to get one. they are the most amazing music players EVER! no seriously, they are the shit. i feel sorry for anyone who doesnt have one. oh joey, i hope i have beed doing better in CS lately. i really have been putting a special effort to listen to what i'm doing and concentrating harder. I just have been really affected by so much shit that has been going on, it's even hurting my music! My heart has been thrashed lately, my emotions are everywhere, i can hardly control them. it feels like i have ADD lol. but i really have been trying to focus on my music lately. i LOVE music with a passion. just like i love amanda, thats really been the reason for all the stress for me lately.

iPODS ARE THE SHIT!!!

Jaydel

sorry this one is all fucked up...lmao

b e s t
1. Male friend: Tony Trago
2. Female friend: Danielle Howett
3. Vacation: Miami Florida                                                                      4: Age: 18                                                                                               5. Memory: Giving Amanda her necklace i got her 2 years ago

w o r s t
1. Time of day: whenever i wake up!!!                                                       2. Day of the week: i never really know what day it is anyway so what does it matter?                                                                                                3. Food: brusslesprouts
4. Memory: january through june (last year worst time of my life)

l a s t
1. Person you saw: Daneille                                                                     2. Talked to on the phone: My Mom
3. Text: dont have texting                                                                         4. music video i saw: Lean Wit It Rock Wit It by: Dem Franchise Boyz           
t o d a y
1. What are you doing now: i wonder...i'm updating my xanga!?!?                  2. Wearing: jeans wit a yellow tee
3. Better than yesterday: no, today sucked balls other than going over to danielle's house where we played ddr and spit. helped to get some shit off my mind.

t o m o r r o w
1. Is: tuesday!! Joany and i are gonna play some halo wit Greg all night!!        2. Got any plans: honestly i do not want to explain it again.
3. Goal: Become a reknown producer in the music industry
4. Dislikes about tomorrow: school

f a v o r i t e
1. Number: 3
2. Song: Gold Digger!!! bitches, by Kanye West (best song in the world)          3. Color: orange                                                                                     4. Season: Summer                                                                                 5. State: Florida

c u r r e n t l y
1. Missing someone: Amanda                                                                     2. Mood: happy yet sad. calm yet pissed.
3. Wanting: a way for us to work without her parents saying no and ruining our her life.
___________________________________________________

True or False?

I am a cuddler- true                                                                                
I am a morning person- lately false

I am a perfectionist- only wit my music

I am an only child- false

I am currently in my pajamas- i dont have any, i just sleep in my clothes

I am currently single- false...i love u amanda no matter what happens

I am currently suffering from a broken heart- yes but i didnt lose her heart, i'm just afraid it might not work out in the end, but i believe.

I am okay at styling other people's hair-false

I am left handed- False

I am addicted to my myspace- false i dont know how to edit it                        
I am online 24/7, even as an away message- true for the most part

I am very shy around the opposite gender at first- false, i'm pretty comfortable

I bite my nails- false

I can be paranoid at times- false

I currently have a crush on someone- false                                                    
I currently regret something that I have done- True and false, what i did, i dont regret, the fact that it was done behind their back, i do

When I get mad I curse- Very True, i have a bad bad bad bad mouth

I enjoy country music- false                                                                       
I enjoy jazz music- true

I enjoy smoothies- true

I enjoy talking on the phone- true

I have a cell phone- true

I have a hard time paying attention at school- only in astronomy                      
I have a hidden talent- false

I have a lot to learn- True

I have a pet- True

I have a tendency to fall for the "wrong" guy/girl - no, i know who i want to be with...and you all know who. Amanda i love you.

I have all my grandparents- false

I have at least one brother and/or sister- true                                               
I have been told that I am smart- True

I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor- false

I have broken a bone- false

I have Caller I.D. on my phone- true

I have bathed someone-false

I have changed a diaper- um...false

I have changed a lot over the past year- true

I have done something illegal- true                                                             
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color- false

I have had major/minor surgery- false                                                         
I have killed another person- oh ok, thats why carry around a gat...honestly      
I have had my hair cut within the last week- false

I have had the cops called on me- false

I have kissed someone I knew I shouldn't- i wasnt allowed, but i couldnt help it, i love her. I LOVE HER! I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE HAS TO SAY, I LOVE HER! i love her...i do, forever and always.

you know, sometimes i just want to give up on all this shit, but i know i cant...i cant, i have so much going for me. please give me some possitive feedback. i could use it. i love all of you who care for me, who actually care what happens.

oh and i was gonna put what i was listening to, but it didnt have the cd listed. so i will tell you.

LISTENING TO: DEM FRANCHISE BOYZ

later, Jaydel

why are people dicks? i dont know. i hate people who dont know when to shut their mouths. honestly. fucking narcs, i'm glad that you enjoyed telling it. too bad it isnt true. too bad that i truly do love someone. too bad that we want to love each other. its rediculous. a person cant love another person without the over reacted comments.  we didnt do anything! and whoever said that i said we did, can go fuck themselves. i never said anything about that shit. i never said we did, and for the record for anyone who is reading this, WE NEVER HAD SEX, damn it. You people fucking piss me off, saying shit you know nothing about. all you do is ASSUME that some shit happened, and the next thing i know there is this huge rumor about amanda and i. amanda's parents have a right to be pissed at me right now. about going behind their backs again, about some other things, but they do not have the right to be angry about us having sex WHEN IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!!! (i'm sorry for those who may not appreciate the language and other stuff) We love each other with our hearts, our souls, our lives. we care about one another. all we ever wanted was to be able to see each other. to be able to love each other. and it may be our faults for ruining that chance with her parents, but we couldnt help it. we were natually attracted to each other. we LOVED each other. and we still do. i am not afraid of her dad. i want him to yell scream and rant right in my face. i would welcome it only because i deserve it. i wanted to go to him for the longest time. to talk to him. he doesnt understand that we couldnt stay apart. i didnt want to go behind his back again, but he wouldnt give me another chance. i wanted to talk to him personally, but amanda wouldnt let me. now look where we are. her dad wants to slit my throat because of a fucking rumor, our relationship took a sharp stab, and now we are both suffering from it all. WE JUST WANT TO BE TOGETHER. TO LOVE EACH OTHER IN PEACE. WITHOUT ALL THE DRAMA, without all the shit that prevents true love from really happening... we just want to love each other...even though our future together looks virtually impossible, we want to love each other and try to make it work. I love amanda. with all of my heart. i truly do. and i would never hurt her...you people make me sick. and by you people the people who decided to talk about something they knew nothing about, whether you are my friend, or not. YOU NEED TO STAY THE FUCK OUT OF OUR RELATIONSHIP!

also, amanda is the most amazing person in the whole world. she cares about how people feel. she loves from her heart. she loves me. you people need to leave us alone if you arent going to help us. she means the world to me. it's rediculous what a person has to go through to love another person. maybe someday one of you dickheads will understand what i feel for her, its too bad that you have to try and ruin somebody elses relationship instead of trying to make one yourself.

Currently Listening The Hunger For More By Lloyd Banks see related

I'm officially 18!!! yea! then tonight we have our second performance of Beauty and the Beast. Last nights was amazing. We will only do better this time. Later.

Jaydel

something cool tho, i was able to blow up my video to a bigger size!!! thats awesome, enjoy. i love this song. too bad for you people who dont really like rap. it's my favorite kind of music. plus this beat is sick! i love it!

also, keep givin your opinions on the whole kanye grammy issue too. i want to hear it. thank you to those who gave their honest opinions. some may have been harsh, but i was harsh on u2 and greenday. I will always believe that kanye should have walked out of there with 5 grammies, not 3 at this years grammy awards. Sorry to those who may disagree, but i really believe he got shafted out of the album and record of the year awards.

i'm hungry, i'm gonna get something to eat. later homies!

oh i also found out how to make a playlist of videos too. its pretty amazing, check em out!

Jaydel